Ways To Be A Better Boyfriend, From A Dating Coach

Ditulis pada Juli 5, 2023 oleh salvabrani

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Ways To Be A Better Boyfriend, From A Dating Coach – What makes a great boyfriend? It’s a good question, with many possible answers.

At core, a good boyfriend is someone who tends to his partner’s well-being with the same reliability and dedication he gives to himself. He is thoughtfully attuned to his partner’s needs and feelings, and he is sensitive to the ways his actions affect them.

With that broad definition in mind, here are a few big and small ways to be a better boyfriend to your person every day. (The truth, of course, is that all of these apply to partners of all genders; they’re all great habits to adopt for anyone who’s in a relationship and wants to make their significant other feel loved.)

Make sure they know how you feel.

Your partner shouldn’t have to wonder about how you feel about them and whether you’re still interested. Day in and day out, make it abundantly clear how into them you are and how much you care. Say it directly to them and remind them, often. For most people, words of affirmation never get old.

Define the relationship clearly.

Ambiguity makes for a lot of misunderstandings. A relationship that isn’t clearly defined is a breeding ground for insecurities, unmet expectations, and hurt feelings. If you see yourself as this person’s boyfriend, tell them that upfront and let them know how you’re viewing your relationship. Stop trying to play it cool—be willing to be vulnerable and make your intentions known.

Text back promptly.

Texting speed might not seem like a big deal to some, but many people glean a lot about how important they are to someone based on how quickly that person texts them back. You don’t need to be glued to your phone or feel guilty about missing a text for a few hours, but don’t leave your partner waiting around to hear from you for an extended period of time. Treat them like a priority, and text them back promptly, consistently, so they know you care.

Be engaged when you’re together.

A good boyfriend is engaged and present when you’re together. Put your phone away, and give your partner your undivided attention. Make them feel like you are fully in the moment with them and happy to be there. Pay attention to your body language, make eye contact, and notice if you find yourself checking out or disengaging. Pull yourself back in, or communicate with your partner if there’s a reason why you’re struggling to be present with them right now.

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Ways To Be A Better Boyfriend, From A Dating Coach

Ask about their day.

Strive to know them as well as their mom or best friend does. Seriously, what is going on in your partner’s world these days? How’s work? What’s occupying their mind lately? How are they dealing with life’s stresses? What problems can you help them solve? Be their confidant. These types of daily conversations are what build true connection, intimacy, and trust over time.

Actually listen when they talk.

This one probably seems obvious, but it needs to be said: Listen to them when they’re talking to you. If your girlfriend comes home and starts venting about the drama going on with the mean girl at the gym, don’t tune her out. What matters to your partner should matter to you. As well, during any discussion with your partner and especially during conflicts, try to really comprehend what your partner is trying to communicate to you. Some people have a habit of trying to prepare their response in their head while the other person talks rather than actually listening. Turn off your brain when your partner is talking, and just focus on trying to actually understand their point or their feelings.

Stop trying to win arguments.

Spoiler alert: If your goal is to “win” an argument, you’ve already lost sight of the bigger picture. Your goal in every single conflict should be for both people to walk away feeling understood, cared about, and armed with a plan to minimize any hurt feelings going forward. Stop trying to defend yourself from getting blamed, stop trying to prove why you’re right, and start trying to create true understanding between yourselves.

Learn to empathize even when you disagree.

Couples don’t need to agree about everything. If your girlfriend comes to you with a complaint that makes absolutely no sense to you, you should not proceed to try to prove to her why her complaint makes no sense. You are different people; you don’t need to see things the same way. Instead, make it your goal to get in her shoes and understand why she sees things the way that she does. Even if you would not feel the same way if the roles were reversed, familiarize yourself with her train of thought and why it’s producing the feelings it’s producing. Once you can understand the root cause of someone’s emotions, you can then figure out how to make changes to your behavior to avoid hurting them going forward—as their boyfriend, that is the ultimate goal.

Be affectionate in your day-to-day life.

Kiss them on the forehead. Swoop in and hug them from behind while they’re cooking. Send them a text that lets them know you’re thinking about them even when you’re not together. Be romantic so they feel loved and desired.

10.

Be affectionate even when you’re around others.

Most people behave a little differently depending on who they’re with, and in particular, people can sometimes behave differently when they’re in public or with a group of friends than they do when they’re one-on-one with their partner. But if your boyfriend is highly affectionate with you at home but more distant when you’re with others, that discrepancy can feel a little like rejection—or like he’s trying to downplay the relationship to other people. So, be affectionate with your partner no matter who’s around so they know your love isn’t limited to behind closed doors.

How to Be a Good Boyfriend 10 Tips for a Healthy Relationship

Ditulis pada Juli 5, 2023 oleh salvabrani

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How to Be a Good Boyfriend 10 Tips for a Healthy Relationship – Relationships of any kind are complex and require ongoing work. To be a good boyfriend, it’s important to put in the work to unpack what it takes to be in a committed relationship. This work becomes the most rewarding when you are in a space where you can work together with your partner.

Being a good partner (whether boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse) requires a lot of humility and vulnerability as you challenge yourself and work on your blind spots. These tips can help anyone wanting to be a better partner. It’s crucial to have patience with yourself and recognize that blaming others or having them carry your issues won’t work long-term. Being a better boyfriend means that you and your partner are on the same team, and thus you treat them as such. They don’t teach us how to be a boyfriend, as they can apply to any partner in a relationship, be it a girlfriend, wife, or husband.

Some essential skills these tips will give you in your own life include:

Knowing how to build a healthy relationship
Ability to address signs of emotional neglect
Avoid toxic relationships and abusive relationships
Identify codependent relationship

10 Ways to Be a Better Boyfriend

Here are 10 tips on how to be a good boyfriend:

1. Listen to Your Partner

It can be easy to think you are listening but comprehending and digesting what your partner shares make your conversations much more meaningful. Consider your partner’s words and perspectives as a chance for you to learn more about them. Take every opportunity to remember and know what they mean so you can reference them later. Listening to your partner helps them know you genuinely want to know what they have to say and are actively considering their perspective. It improves emotional intimacy and trust.

2. Connect Daily

It can be easy to get lost in the grind of the day-to-day work that we forget to check in with our partners. If we know they are going through something big, it’s important to give them the chance to share their thoughts even if it seems like they are doing fine. You and your partner deserve love from a place of concern and support. Knowing that you remember important things in their life will improve your emotional intimacy and make it easier for them to come to you for help.

3. Practice Non-Verbal Communication

Much of our communication is non-verbal, and it can be hard for your partner when you are physically distant. Sometimes this is beyond your control as we all have responsibilities that will call for physical distance; however, being physically present with your partner is essential.

Some examples of non-verbal communication include:

Holding their hand
Sitting close to them
Looking at them in the eyes
Gentle touches

These small gestures show you are present and provide a sense of safety. It can also be validating and reassuring, so pay attention to your non-verbal communication.

4. Understand Attachment Styles

Attachment styles are essential to consider when you are in a relationship. Your partner may have a different attachment style that conflicts with yours; if that is the case, what works for you may not work for them. Taking time to learn about yours and their attachment styles can give you new ways to connect in more meaningful ways for both of you.

5. Learn Each Other’s Love Language

Understanding love languages teach us how we need to be loved, but sometimes our love language may not be what our partner needs. It’s not fair to assume your partner knows your love language, so expecting that they should know when you have never shared it with them is a recipe for pain.

6. Respect Their Mental Health

Understanding your partner’s mental health issues is a love language we should practice more often. It is the most profound way of truly understanding who your person is and their story. It can be hard to know if the experiences that shaped us were indeed the same, but the emotions felt can be universal, such as pain, grief, and hardship. It’s crucial that when dating someone with depression or dating someone with anxiety, you must be mindful of how their mental illness impacts them and learn the proper ways to communicate when they have symptoms.

7. Show Empathy

Being empathetic is a skill that takes time to develop. Empathy doesn’t mean that you try to point out your partner’s gaps in understanding, as this can be very invalidating. It doesn’t mean you play devil’s advocate because it’s not a time to challenge your partner. Empathy means creating a space of emotional safety for your partner to experience their emotions and receive support–no feedback, no advice, no solutions.

8. Offer Validation

Even if you don’t understand or agree, validation’s purpose is to confirm that their perspective is correct because it’s real for them. We all need to be seen and heard, and confirmation from your partner can go a long way. As a boyfriend, it’s paramount to know that you influence your partner’s well-being and that what you say matters. Understanding this and depersonalizing the act of validation is critical because your partner is separate from you and will likely have different perspectives.

9. Fight Fair

Fights will happen, and a lack of conflicts doesn’t mean your relationship is healthier than with arguments. It’s in how we handle our disputes and how we manage to repair our relationship once a disagreement happens. Suppose one partner hits below the belt while the other tries to de-escalate. In that case, it will only make it more challenging to navigate the discussion to a solution.

Some crucial tips for being a fair boyfriend in a fight include:

Recognize your limits in a fight
Develop fair fighting rules
Learn how to deal with relationship conflict

10. Structure Your Conversations

Having rules around when and where a difficult conversation will occur can be constructive. It gives both partners a chance to calm themselves if they are nervous, and gives them the time to think about their response, so one isn’t surprised or blinded. It levels the playing field by having structured conversations that involve thoughtfully planned responses and respect for each other’s time.

9 Simple Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong and Healthy

Ditulis pada Juli 4, 2023 oleh salvabrani

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9 Simple Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong and Healthy – It is no secret that it takes more than just love to keep a marriage strong and healthy. Obviously strong feelings for each other is a necessity, but with the many responsibilities of life, fitting in quality time with your significant other can definitely take a backseat.

Luckily there are countless ways to give your relationship the care and attention it needs to last. Best of all, a lot of them don’t require a huge change in your daily schedule or a lot of money.

1. Greet each other when you come home

First things first, say “hello”. This may sound like a cliché, but making sure that you greet your spouse when they come home is important. It lets your partner know that you are happy to see them and often translates to “I missed you.”

Let’s face it, it can be pretty disappointing when you show up to an event and no one greets you or seems to care that you’ve even arrived. The same goes for when your spouse gets home, so don’t forget to greet them with a loving “hello” followed by a sweet kiss! Even just spending a few minutes doing some daily activities greatly increases your relationship’s happiness.

2. Schedule a weekly check-in

Running your children around from doctors’ appointments to practices to school and back often seems to have no end. We live in a time of constant “go, go, go,” which is why it’s important to schedule in weekly check-ins with your spouse. Sure, a weekly meeting may not sound like the most romantic thing in the world. But pour yourselves a glass of wine once the kids are asleep or meet for coffee during your lunch break.

There are plenty of ways you can take 30 minutes each week to just check in. This is a time for you to discuss things that happened that week or make decisions about the week ahead. A time to share how you are doing. If you feel like you have nothing to talk about, we’ve created a list of 25 conversation starters that are sure to get the conversation flowing.

3. Don’t forget to date your spouse

Just because you are married doesn’t mean you can’t also be dating, right? In fact, it is because you are married that you should be dating. It is easy to be caught in the hamster wheel of wake up, grab a cup of coffee, kiss, run out the door, dinner with the kids, pass out, and repeat. It is also easy for your relationship to grow very tired because of this.

Schedule one night each week that is your night with your hubby, just the two of you. Go to a nice restaurant, see a movie you both want to see, go for ice cream in the summer months. There are countless opportunities to have a fun, romantic date night that you both deserve.

4. Share your daily highs and lows

Written in your wedding vows somewhere was probably something along the lines of “for better and for worse.” Well, when it comes to your relationship, it is important to share the “better and worse” daily. Make it a fun dinner-time tradition to share a high point and a low point of each day. This can even be something that the kids take part in, as well! Sharing one high and one low each day is a wonderful way to maintain healthy communication between you and your partner.

5. Find something you appreciate about your spouse every day

This one is very easy because it is something that can be both said or kept to yourself. Try and think of at least one thing that you like about your spouse daily. Better yet, tell them! If your spouse brings you coffee in bed, tell them how much you appreciate that. When he or she takes the kids to basketball practice after work, let them know how much that means to you.

6. Tell your partner often why you love them

The initial stages of a relationship are filled with butterflies and constant verbal affection. The problem is, as time goes on, those butterflies tend to fly away and so do the “I love you because…” soliloquies. Of course it is normal to not be as “lovey dovey” as when you first met, but don’t forsake all verbal affection.

Tell your partner you love them often, but don’t stop there! Tell them why you love them. Whether it be for taking the kids to the mall when you clearly need some relaxation time, bringing you flowers one random evening, or simply for being him. Whatever it may be, say it loud and say it proud!

7. Look each other in the eyes

We all grew up with our parents reminding us to look people in the eyes when we speak to them. Mom and dad may have been on to something, because eye contact is just as important in marriage as it was when we were kids! Whether you are out with friends or speaking to your kids, it can be both rude and frustrating to have the person you are talking to checking their phone or looking around the room as you speak. It gives off the impression that the other person is disinterested or simply doesn’t care what you have to say. The same goes for when you and your partner are speaking.

Actions speak louder than words. Instead of saying “I’m listening”, show your partner you are listening by looking him in the eyes and eliminating other distractions when you are having a conversation.

8. Spend time together without technology

Speaking of making eye contact, eliminating technology every now and then is a great way to give your significant other your full attention. There is no denying how distracting technology can be, so make sure that you and your spouse are spending some time without it. Make a no cell phone rule for date night or leave the electronics in the other room during your morning coffee together.

Spending time together without the imposing distraction of technology allows you and your spouse to give each other the attention and consideration that you both deserve.

9. Small acts of physical affection go a long way

Marriage doesn’t automatically equate to no flirting. A simple brush of the hands or a kiss as you and your spouse pass by each other is all it takes to keep the spark from burning out. A little romance and day-to-day physical affection can truly be the cherry on top of a healthy relationship built upon good communication and trust.

Hold hands in public, hug your husband or wife from behind when they are making their breakfast, give him or her a loving peck as they read the paper. However big or small the gesture may be, regular physical affection has a major impact on a happy relationship.

5 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Relationship in Marriage

Ditulis pada Juli 4, 2023 oleh salvabrani

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5 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Relationship in Marriage – We all want to have a happy, loving and healthy relationship in our marriage that lasts for a lifetime. However, this is not always the case. As many of us struggle with our spouses, fairytale relationships often go sour.

Once we settle into our marriage, we may take our spouse for granted. Such behavior can lead to a downward spiral if we don’t take action to change things.

Here are a few ways to maintain a healthy relationship and keep your marriage intact forever.

Be Attentive

Pay attention to your spouse’s needs and feelings. If you continue to watch TV after your spouse asks you to help with dinner, they will feel ignored. If they ask you to stop and pick up milk on the way home from work, and you arrive without milk, they will feel what they had to say was not important because you did not listen.

Although these things may seem insignificant to you, your spouse may interpret them as signs that you don’t care. Be attentive to their needs, desires, and requests.

Simple actions like asking if they need help preparing dinner can mean a lot—call or text before leaving work to see if there is anything they need. Your attentiveness will not go unnoticed.

Be a Good Listener

People often get frustrated when they feel their spouse does not listen to them. You may say you hear when you are not listening at all? There is a difference. As you text friends and play games while your spouse speaks, it’s no wonder why they think you are not listening and, of course, don’t care. Put the phone down and listen. Good communication is one of the foundations of a healthy, happy relationship.

Intimacy and Romance

Although sex is a healthy part of a relationship, it is not the only way to maintain intimacy. A common complaint in many relationships is the lack of romance, although the sex is satisfying. Intimacy is a way for spouses to be close both physically and emotionally.

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There are many ways to be intimate such as a romantic moonlit walk on the beach. However, you don’t have to have a beach nearby. A night at home watching a movie, cuddling on the sofa or in a hot tub can be intimate and romantic. Any intimate setting where the two of you can spend alone time together can bring you closer. Engaging in activities that your spouse enjoys will let them know that you care about what is important to them. It also shows that you enjoy spending time alone together.

Random Acts of Kindness

Simple acts of kindness can brighten your spouse’s day and show how much you love them. For example, text and say, “I love you.” Send flowers for no reason. Prepare a romantic candlelight dinner. Write a poem or romantic note and leave it where they will find it. Be creative and do things that will make them happy. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, as long as it is meaningful.

Always Be Kind

There are disagreements in even the best relationships. Everyone has a bad day now and then. Perhaps you had a hard time at work. Maybe you’re just tired or not feeling well. During these times, emotions may flare easily. If an argument erupts between the two of you, think before speaking. We often say things we don’t mean during a disagreement. However, those words can have a long-lasting impact.

Hurtful words can cut your spouse deeply. Don’t say things you will be sorry for later. Before you say anything that may hurt, take a deep breath, and consider your words. You can disagree without saying things that you will regret.

Listen to your spouse’s view and then express your own opinion calmly. Learn to compromise when there is a disagreement. You can usually find an amicable solution if you are willing to listen and compromise.

Good relationships have a foundation of love, respect, and trust. Show your spouse respect. Be a good communicator. Be supportive of their goals, desires, and endeavors. Work together instead of against each other. After all, a beautiful and long-lasting relationship is a friendship and partnership. So, show your spouse that you support them in every area. If you are attentive, loving, and supportive, you are on the road to a healthy, happy, and everlasting relationship.

How to Make Love Last Forever

Ditulis pada Juli 3, 2023 oleh salvabrani

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How to Make Love Last Forever – Keeping your primary relationship healthy, positive, supportive and together isn’t easy. But it can be done.

“We expect a lot from our relationships, and the fact is, long-term marriages or relationships are difficult to sustain, given the pressures most of us live with,” says Sue Maisch, L.S.W., a family and child counselor in Glenwood Springs, Colo. “To make it work, couples need the maturity to realize a long-lasting relationship will entail sacrifice, commitment and hard work, but that the payoff of a deeper love and stable, loving home life is well worth the effort.”

Here are suggestions on how to strengthen the connection with your partner.

Practice forgiveness

Resentment, anger and blame are normal reactions when your loved one does something hurtful. Without forgiveness, however, little hurts as well as betrayals can tear a relationship apart.

“People who don’t forgive often have problems maintaining positive feelings toward their partners,” says Ms. Maisch. “But partners who move toward forgiveness are better able to maintain their connection because they make a conscious decision not to dwell on the mistakes their partner has made.”

Be realistic

Every long-term relationship will have its share of disappointments. But learning to look beyond a particular bad patch to see your partner objectively and lovingly can pull you through.

“Remembering and nourishing memories of happy times you’ve had together can help you get past irritation and those times when you’re wondering if you want to stay in the relationship,” says Ms. Maisch.

Develop rituals

The way you and your partner say good-bye or hello, or how you celebrate birthdays or anniversaries year after year can help build a strong connection that can keep you emotionally committed during times of conflict.

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For example, taking time to kiss your partner good-bye every morning when you leave for work — no matter how late or distracted you are — tells him or her that in the grand scheme of things your relationship is a high priority.

Listen actively

“Jumping in and interrupting when your partner is trying to tell you something can make him or her frustrated or discouraged,” says Ms. Maisch. “It’s crucial to listen more than you speak when you’re having a serious discussion.”

Be honest

Secrets and lies weaken the foundation of any relationship. Ignoring problems (another form of keeping secrets) doesn’t make them go away. What is important is respectful, open communication regarding your feelings and dreams.

Fight fair

Even the truest of friends and most compatible partners argue. To keep your disagreements from damaging your relationship, set up some respectful ground rules during a calm moment.

These might include no name-calling or criticizing, making sure each person gets to have a say, really listening to each other and taking a break from the discussion if it gets too heated, as long as you promise to revisit the issues within a day or two.

Get help if you’re stuck

If you and your partner keep having the same arguments with no progress in sight, seek help from a therapist or marriage counselor.

“Above all don’t wait until your connection has been seriously damaged before you get help,” says Ms. Maisch. “Get counseling before one or both of you become entrenched in negative emotions.”

What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?

Ditulis pada Juli 3, 2023 oleh salvabrani

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What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like? – Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people. There is no imbalance of power. Partners respect each other’s independence, can make their own decisions without fear of retribution or retaliation, and share decisions. If or when a relationship ends, there is no stalking or refusal to let the other partner go.

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

Respect for privacy and space. You don’t have to be with your partner 24/7.
Your partner encourages you to spend time with friends without them, and to participate in activities that you enjoy.
You feel comfortable expressing your opinions and concerns to your partner.
Your feel physically safe and your partner doesn’t force you to have sex or to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.
Your partner respects your wishes and feelings and you can compromise and negotiate when there are disagreements or conflicts.

The foundation of a healthy relationship includes:

Boundaries: You and your partner are able to find ways to meet each other’s’ needs in ways that you both feel comfortable with.
Communication: You and your partner can share your feelings, even when you don’t agree, in a way that makes the other person feel safe, heard, and not judged.
Trust: Building trust can take time and allows couples to be vulnerable with one another knowing that they can rely on the other person.
Consent: Most commonly used when you’re being sexually active, giving consent means that you are okay with what is happening, and that no one is forcing you or guilting you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. Consent can be given and taken back at any time, and giving consent once does not mean you automatically give consent in the future.

See how these things go hand in hand by exploring the other sections to your left.

Please keep in mind that in some abusive relationships, trying to enforce boundaries, honest communication, trust, and other healthy behaviors could put your safety at risk. Remember, abuse is about power and control and someone who is abusive might not want to give up their control over you.

Be careful. If you feel like someone is disrespecting you or is being abusive, check out the “Get Help” section. You’re not alone.

Boundaries

Having boundaries is like drawing a line. One side has the things you are okay with and the other side, those that you are not okay with, don’t feel ready for, or make you uncomfortable. This line looks different for everyone, so it is important for you to know where yours needs to be drawn. Setting boundaries is a way to teach your partner about your needs, and let you know when something doesn’t feel right. You are allowed to put your needs before someone else’s needs, especially if their needs make you uncomfortable.

Step 1: What are your boundaries?

Think about these categories and what they mean in terms of your relationship.

Physical: Are you okay with public displays of affection? Does affection make you uncomfortable? Do you hate it or love it when your partner tickles you? Do you need a lot of alone time? Learn more about physical boundaries and abuse.

Emotional: Are you able to share what you are feeling right away or do you need some time to think about it? Do you need your partner to be available anytime you have a crisis? When are you ready to say I love you? Learn more about emotional boundaries and abuse.

Sexual: Do you need to get to know your partner a while before engaging in any kind of sexual activity, or are you okay getting physical right away? What sexual activity are you okay with? Learn more about sexual boundaries and abuse.

Digital: Are you posting your relationship status? Is it okay if your partner uses your phone? Do you want to share passwords? Learn more about digital boundaries and abuse.

Material: Do you like sharing your stuff? Are you okay paying for your partner or vice versa?

Spiritual: Do you like to practice your religion with a partner or alone? Does your partner need to have the same beliefs as you or can they be different as long as yours are respected? Are you waiting until marriage before you have sex?

Step 2: Letting your partner know what your boundaries are.

You don’t have to sit down with your partner with a check list of all of the things that make you uncomfortable, but you do have be open and honest. Some of these things might come up early in the relationship, like if you are a virgin and don’t want to have sex until you’re ready. Some of these things may not come up for a while, like if your partner wants to share passwords after dating for 6 months. When your needs are different than your partner’s, have a conversation; you don’t need to give an explanation. It may be awkward, but having the tough conversations is a part of having a healthy relationship. When your partner listens to you and respects you, it builds trust.

Step 3: Recognizing when the line has been crossed.

Sometimes, boundaries get crossed even after you’ve talked with your partner; this is where trusting yourself comes in. You may be sad, anxious or angry or you may not know exactly what you are feeling. Always trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right to you, it probably isn’t.

What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?

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Step 4: Responding.

If a boundary has been crossed by your partner who didn’t know where your line was drawn, have an honest conversation. It could be something as simple as saying, “Hey, I really don’t like it when you ________. This makes me really uncomfortable. Do you think next time you can ______ instead?” This might take some back and forth before coming to an agreement that meets both of your needs, but your relationship will be stronger because of it.

If a boundary has been crossed even though you had already been clear about your boundaries, this might be abuse. Crossing a line might be obvious, like if you say no to having sex, but your partner uses physical force to make you do something you don’t want to do. But it can also be more subtle, like if your partner guilts you into something, begs you until you give in or threatens to break up with you unless you do what they want.

Communication

Open and honest communication is an important part of every relationship because it allows you to share who you are and what you need from the people around you. Miscommunication is common, but can often lead to problems, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. These tips will help you talk to your partner honestly.

Speaking: Be open and clear about how you are feeling; if you don’t understand something, tell them; use “I statements” so that the other person doesn’t feel like you are blaming or attacking them (“I feel that….); be honest, even if you think the other person might not like hearing I how you truly feel; apologize when you are wrong or hurt the other person; when talking about something negative, also mention something positive.

Listening: Pay attention without distractions (put your phone away) when the other person is talking; listen to what they are saying instead of just thinking about how to respond; wait for them to finish talking before you say something; use acknowledging statements like “interesting,” to let them know you hear what they are saying; ask questions if you don’t understand something to avoid confusion and misunderstanding; don’t leave them hanging (if you need to think about what they said before responding, tell them that); be prepared to hear something that you don’t like and really think about it before responding.

Body Language: Make eye contact; face them; give your full attention and lean in as they are speaking.

Digital Communication: Don’t have an important conversation over text or online. When chatting online, focus on the conversation instead of being distracted by other things or having multiple other conversations; if you can’t respond, let the other person know so you don’t leave them hanging.

Where and when to have an important conversation: When talking about something important, talk when you are feeling calm or take some time to cool down if you had a fight. Talk about your concerns before they become problems and get worse. Make sure you are talking privately so you can be open about your feelings.

If you feel that your partner doesn’t do these things, or might be emotionally abusing you, be careful when using these tips and check out our “Get Help” section.

Trust

It can take time to build trust. And while it can be hard to trust someone, especially if your trust was broken in the past, you can’t blame your current partner for something someone else did. Here are some ways to help build trust:

Be reliable: If you needed your partner to listen to you because you were having a bad day, or if you needed a ride home from school, would they be there for you? Would you be there for them?

Respect boundaries: When you tell your partner that something makes you uncomfortable, do they respect that? Does it go both ways?

Be honest: Does your partner tell you how they feel instead of just giving you the silent treatment? Do you tell your partner how you feel, and make an effort to talk things through? If you made a mistake, would you tell your partner? Would your partner tell you?

Walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk: Do what you say and say what you mean.

Consent

Consent is an agreement between two people, given through words or actions, that they are both clearly and enthusiastically willing to engage in sexual activity. Silence or lack of resistance does not count as consent. Some people aren’t able to give consent, such as individuals who are drunk, sleeping or unconscious, and some people with intellectual disabilities. Consent involves active communication, and knowing that one person always has to right to withdraw consent. This means that someone can consent to one activity (kissing) but not consent to another (sex). Consent, like sex, should be about respecting each other to make their own decisions about their body.

Getting consent can be simple: it’s all about communication. You can talk about boundaries before engaging sexual activity, but you should also regularly check in with a simple, “Is this okay?” to ensure everyone involved is comfortable with what is going on.

50 Best Relationship Quotes and Sweetest Couple Quotes That’ll Make Your Heart Flutter

Ditulis pada Juli 2, 2023 oleh salvabrani

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50 Best Relationship Quotes and Sweetest Couple Quotes That’ll Make Your Heart Flutter – Nothing beats that beautiful feeling of being in a loving relationship or even a new relationship that has lots of potential. And while those feelings are somewhat indescribable, the best relationship quotes and cute couple quotes attempt to capture some of that magic.

Whether you’re in a new relationship or are a long-time couple, you’ll resonate with these quotes about relationships. From sweet couple quotes to share with your partner to inspiring new relationship quotes, this giant list of 150 of the best relationship quotes and couples quotes is guaranteed to make your heart flutter.

Cute Couple Quotes About Relationships

1. “All of me loves all of you.” — Jonn Legend

2. “I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep and there are no words for that.” — Brian Andreas

3. “The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” — Audrey Hepburn

4. “You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.” – Arthur Conan Doyle

5. “I’d rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you.” – Pocahantas

6. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao-Tzu

7. “Our soul mate is the one who makes life come to life.” – Richard Bach

8. “Thinking of you keeps me awake. Dreaming of you keeps me asleep. Being with you keeps me alive.” – Unknown

9. “My love for you is past the mind, beyond my heart, and into my soul.” – Boris Kodjoe

10. “I would rather spend one lifetime with you, than face all the ages of this world alone.” — J.R.R. Tolkien, “Lord of The Rings”

11. “We were together even when we were apart.” – Shannon A. Thompson

12. “We loved with a love that was more than love.” – Edgar Allan Poe

3. “Love: Two minds without a single thought.” – Philip Barry

14. “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Seuss

15. “You’re my reflection, all I see is you.” – Justin Timberlake

16. “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” – Aristotle

17. “I love you much (most beautiful darling) more than anyone on the earth and I like you better than everything in the sky.” – E.E. Cummings

18. “I could watch you for a single minute and find a thousand things that I love about you.” — Unknown

19. “I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there’s a life after that, I’ll love you then.” – Cassandra Clare

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20. “I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours.” – Nicholas Sparks

21. “If I know what love is, it is because of you.” — Herman Hesse

22. “I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.” — Angelita Lim

23. “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love … I love … I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.” – Pride and Prejudice

24. “Once I knew you I never wanted to know anyone else.” — Leo Christopher

25. “If I lost you I would cry, oh how I love you baby.” – Ike and Tina Turner

26. “Being married is like having somebody permanently in your corner. It feels limitless, not limited.” — Gloria Steinem

27. “A relationship where you can be weird together is your best choice.” — Paulo Coelho

28. “Some think love can be measured by the amount of butterflies in their tummy. Others think love can be measured in bunches of flowers, or by using the words ‘for ever.’ But love can only truly be measured by actions. It can be a small thing, such as peeling an orange for a person you love because you know they don’t like doing it.” — Marian Keyes

29. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” — Oprah Winfrey

30. “When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.” — The Intern

31. “There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” — Mahatma Gandhi

32. “Love is a game that two can play and both win.” — Eva Gabor

33. “Your hand touching mine. This is how galaxies collide.” ― Sanober Khan

34. “A successful relationship requires falling in love multiple times, but always with the same person.” — Unknown

35. “Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.”— Swedish Proverb

36. “Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” — Marcel Proust

37. “To love is easy, to be in a relationship is extremely difficult.” — Santosh Kalwar

38. “You deserve someone who is terrified to lose you.” – R.H.Sin

39. “Fall in love with someone who makes you glad to be different.” – Sue Zhao

40. “Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” — Emily Kimbrough

Best Relationship Quotes

41. “Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.” — Fawn Weaver

42. “In the end, there doesn’t have to be anyone who understands you. There just has to be someone who wants to.” – Robert Breault

43. “Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” — Ann Landers

44. “Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr

45. “Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.” – Gloria Steinem

46. “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind/And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.” — William Shakespeare

47. “The person you’re meant to be with will never have to be chased, begged or given an ultimatum.” – Mandy Hale

48. “We have to recognize that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.” — Cornel West

49. “Never love anybody that treats you like you’re ordinary.” — Oscar Wilde

50. “Never love something so much that you can’t let go of it.” — Ginni Rometty

Meaningful Relationship Quotes That’ll Give You All the Feels

Ditulis pada Juli 2, 2023 oleh salvabrani

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Meaningful Relationship Quotes That’ll Give You All the Feels – Throughout your life, relationships will come and go. There will be life-changing romances and meaningful friendships that last a lifetime. Of course, there will also be toxic situations, painful breakups, and grief after you fall out of touch with a friend. These relationships teach you more about yourself and about powerful, sometimes elusive, love. Relationship quotes can help you navigate these complex emotions and put into words how much a person means to you, whether you are dating someone new, looking for a sweet love message to celebrate a milestone anniversary, or searching for a way to tell a close friend, “I miss you.”

No one said relationships are easy. You may feel nervous energy around a new person you have big feelings for. Your relationship may have just become long-distance and you are struggling to find ways to tell your significant other that you are thinking of them. Or maybe you are looking for the perfect Valentine’s Day quote that encapsulates all you and your partner have been through and learned throughout the years (or even decades). That’s where the best relationships quotes come in, to help you say the things you want to say but don’t have the words for, as well as express your love in new and profound ways.

These relationship quotes are words to turn back to when you meet a new flame or are looking for sage advice about love. Let the words of poets, authors, philosophers, and actors help you feel seen, heard, comforted, and, most importantly, less alone.

Strong Relationship Quotes

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” — Paulo Coelho
“We loved with a love that was more than love.” — Edgar Allen Poe
“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.” — C. JoyBell C.
“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.” — Leo F. Buscaglia
“Love that stammers, that stutters, is apt to be the love that loves best.” — Gabriela Mistral
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” — Pablo Neruda
“We cannot really love anyone with whom we never laugh.” — Agnes Repplier
“It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is.” — Hermann Hesse
“Be honest, brutally honest. That is what’s going to maintain relationships.” — Lauryn Hill
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” — Lao Tzu
“There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.” — Martin Luther
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” — Henny Youngman
“I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there’s a life after that, I’ll love you then.” — Cassandra Clare

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Meaningful Relationship Quotes

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” — Carl Gustav Jung
“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” — Ernest Hemingway
“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow — this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” — Elizabeth Gilbert
“To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.” — Criss Jami
“I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart.” — Alice Walker
“The love expressed between women is particular and powerful because we have had to love in order to live; love has been our survival.” — Audre Lorde
“Perhaps we are in this world to search for love, find it and lose it, again and again. With each love, we are born anew, and with each love that ends, we collect a new wound. I am covered with proud scars.” — Isabel Allende
“Love is the absence of judgment.” — The 14th Dalai Lama
“You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you.” — Bob Marley
“Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” — Bob Marley
“I don’t need anyone to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we will ever have is the one with ourselves.” — Shirley MacLaine
“Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.” — William Shakespeare
“We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.” — Joyce Meyer
“Learn to be quiet enough to hear the genuine in yourself, so that you can hear it in others.”— Marian Wright Edelman
“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any Happiness you get you’ve got to make yourself.”— Alice Walker
“Once we recognize what it is we are feeling, once we recognize we can feel deeply, love deeply, can feel joy, then we will demand that all parts of our lives produce that kind of joy.”— Audre Lorde
“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” — Oprah Winfrey
“You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.” — Nina Simone
“Love is an endless act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is me giving up the right to hurt you for hurting me.“ — Beyoncé
“When you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better.” — Solange
“Fall in love with someone who makes you glad to be different.” — Sue Zhao
“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” — Bryant H. McGill
“Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.” — Anthony J. D’Angelo
“The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.”
“People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” — Andy Warhol
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.” — Natalie Cole
“You don’t love someone because they’re perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they’re not.” — Jodi Picoult
“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” — Victor Hugo
“The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love.” — Henry Miller
“I have decided to stick to love; hate is too great a burden to bear.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.
“The giving of love is an education in itself.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

How to Have a Better Relationship

Ditulis pada Juni 27, 2023 oleh salvabrani

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Salvabrani.com – Can you spot a good relationship? Of course nobody knows what really goes on between any couple, but decades of scientific research into love, sex and relationships have taught us that a number of behaviors can predict when a couple is on solid ground or headed for troubled waters. Good relationships don’t happen overnight. They take commitment, compromise, forgiveness and most of all — effort. Keep reading for the latest in relationship science, fun quizzes and helpful tips to help you build a stronger bond with your partner.

Love and Romance

Falling in love is the easy part. The challenge for couples is how to rekindle the fires of romance from time to time and cultivate the mature, trusting love that is the hallmark of a lasting relationship.

What’s Your Love Style?
When you say “I love you,” what do you mean?

Terry Hatkoff, a California State University sociologist, has created a love scale that identifies six distinct types of love found in our closest relationships.

Romantic: Based on passion and sexual attraction
Best Friends: Fondness and deep affection
Logical: Practical feelings based on shared values, financial goals, religion etc.
Playful: Feelings evoked by flirtation or feeling challenged
Possessive: Jealousy and obsession
Unselfish: Nurturing, kindness, and sacrifice
Researchers have found that the love we feel in our most committed relationships is typically a combination of two or three different forms of love. But often, two people in the same relationship can have very different versions of how they define love. Dr. Hatkoff gives the example of a man and woman having dinner. The waiter flirts with the woman, but the husband doesn’t seem to notice, and talks about changing the oil in her car. The wife is upset her husband isn’t jealous. The husband feels his extra work isn’t appreciated.

What does this have to do with love? The man and woman each define love differently. For him, love is practical, and is best shown by supportive gestures like car maintenance. For her, love is possessive, and a jealous response by her husband makes her feel valued.

Understanding what makes your partner feel loved can help you navigate conflict and put romance back into your relationship. You and your partner can take the Love Style quiz from Dr. Hatkoff and find out how each of you defines love. If you learn your partner tends toward jealousy, make sure you notice when someone is flirting with him or her. If your partner is practical in love, notice the many small ways he or she shows love by taking care of everyday needs.

Reignite Romance

Romantic love has been called a “natural addiction” because it activates the brain’s reward center — notably the dopamine pathways associated with drug addiction, alcohol and gambling. But those same pathways are also associated with novelty, energy, focus, learning, motivation, ecstasy and craving. No wonder we feel so energized and motivated when we fall in love!

But we all know that romantic, passionate love fades a bit over time, and (we hope) matures into a more contented form of committed love. Even so, many couples long to rekindle the sparks of early courtship. But is it possible?

The relationship researcher Arthur Aron, a psychology professor who directs the Interpersonal Relationships Laboratory at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, has found a way. The secret? Do something new and different — and make sure you do it together. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love. Whether you take a pottery class or go on a white-water rafting trip, activating your dopamine systems while you are together can help bring back the excitement you felt on your first date. In studies of couples, Dr. Aron has found that partners who regularly share new experiences report greater boosts in marital happiness than those who simply share pleasant but familiar experiences.

Diagnose Your Passion Level

The psychology professor Elaine Hatfield has suggested that the love we feel early in a relationship is different than what we feel later. Early on, love is “passionate,” meaning we have feelings of intense longing for our mate. Longer-term relationships develop “companionate love,” which can be described as a deep affection, and strong feelings of commitment and intimacy.

Where does your relationship land on the spectrum of love? The Passionate Love Scale, developed by Dr. Hatfield, of the University of Hawaii, and Susan Sprecher, a psychology and sociology professor at Illinois State University, can help you gauge the passion level of your relationship. Once you see where you stand, you can start working on injecting more passion into your partnership. Note that while the scale is widely used by relationship researchers who study love, the quiz is by no means the final word on the health of your relationship. Take it for fun and let the questions inspire you to talk to your partner about passion. After all, you never know where the conversation might lead.

Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship

Ditulis pada Juni 27, 2023 oleh salvabrani

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Salvabrani.com – Whether you’re looking to keep a new romantic relationship strong or repair a relationship that’s on the rocks, these tips can help you feel loved and connected to your partner.

Building a healthy relationship

All romantic relationships go through ups and downs and they all take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner. But whether your relationship is just starting out or you’ve been together for years, there are steps you can take to build a healthy relationship. Even if you’ve experienced a lot of failed relationships in the past or have struggled before to rekindle the fires of romance in your current relationship, you can find ways to stay connected, find fulfillment, and enjoy lasting happiness.

What makes a healthy relationship?

Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. Part of what defines a healthy relationship is sharing a common goal for exactly what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go. And that’s something you’ll only know by talking deeply and honestly with your partner.

However, there are also some characteristics that most healthy relationships have in common. Knowing these basic principles can help keep your relationship meaningful, fulfilling and exciting whatever goals you’re working towards or challenges you’re facing together.

You maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other. You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled. There’s a difference between being loved and feeling loved. When you feel loved, it makes you feel accepted and valued by your partner, like someone truly gets you. Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without the partners truly relating to each other emotionally. While the union may seem stable on the surface, a lack of ongoing involvement and emotional connection serves only to add distance between two people.

You’re not afraid of (respectful) disagreement. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to feel safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.

You keep outside relationships and interests alive.Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all of your needs. In fact, expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on a relationship. To stimulate and enrich your romantic relationship, it’s important to sustain your own identity outside of the relationship, preserve connections with family and friends, and maintain your hobbies and interests.

You communicate openly and honestly. Good communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.

Falling in love vs. staying in love

For most people, falling in love usually seems to just happen. It’s staying in love—or preserving that “falling in love” experience—that requires commitment and work. Given its rewards, though, it’s well worth the effort. A healthy, secure romantic relationship can serve as an ongoing source of support and happiness in your life, through good times and bad, strengthening all aspects of your wellbeing. By taking steps now to preserve or rekindle your falling in love experience, you can build a meaningful relationship that lasts—even for a lifetime.

Many couples focus on their relationship only when there are specific, unavoidable problems to overcome. Once the problems have been resolved they often switch their attention back to their careers, kids, or other interests. However, romantic relationships require ongoing attention and commitment for love to flourish. As long as the health of a romantic relationship remains important to you, it is going to require your attention and effort. And identifying and fixing a small problem in your relationship now can often help prevent it from growing into a much larger one down road.

The following tips can help you to preserve that falling in love experience and keep your romantic relationship healthy.

Tip 1: Spend quality time face to face

You fall in love looking at and listening to each other. If you continue to look and listen in the same attentive ways, you can sustain the falling in love experience over the long term. You probably have fond memories of when you were first dating your loved one. Everything seemed new and exciting, and you likely spent hours just chatting together or coming up with new, exciting things to try. However, as time goes by, the demands of work, family, other obligations, and the need we all have for time to ourselves can make it harder to find time together.

Many couples find that the face-to-face contact of their early dating days is gradually replaced by hurried texts, emails, and instant messages. While digital communication is great for some purposes, it doesn’t positively impact your brain and nervous system in the same way as face-to-face communication. Sending a text or a voice message to your partner saying “I love you” is great, but if you rarely look at them or have the time to sit down together, they’ll still feel you don’t understand or appreciate them. And you’ll become more distanced or disconnected as a couple. The emotional cues you both need to feel loved can only be conveyed in person, so no matter how busy life gets, it’s important to carve out time to spend together.

Commit to spending some quality time together on a regular basis. No matter how busy you are, take a few minutes each day to put aside your electronic devices, stop thinking about other things, and really focus on and connect with your partner.

Find something that you enjoy doing together, whether it is a shared hobby, dance class, daily walk, or sitting over a cup of coffee in the morning.

Try something new together. Doing new things together can be a fun way to connect and keep things interesting. It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or going on a day trip to a place you’ve never been before.

Focus on having fun together. Couples are often more fun and playful in the early stages of a relationship. However, this playful attitude can sometimes be forgotten as life challenges start getting in the way or old resentments start building up. Keeping a sense of humor can actually help you get through tough times, reduce stress and work through issues more easily. Think about playful ways to surprise your partner, like bringing flowers home or unexpectedly booking a table at their favorite restaurant. Playing with pets or small children can also help you reconnect with your playful side.

Do things together that benefit others

One the most powerful ways of staying close and connected is to jointly focus on something you and your partner value outside of the relationship. Volunteering for a cause, project, or community work that has meaning for both of you can keep a relationship fresh and interesting. It can also expose you both to new people and ideas, offer the chance to tackle new challenges together, and provide fresh ways of interacting with each other.

As well as helping to relieve stress, anxiety, and depression, doing things to benefit others delivers immense pleasure. Human beings are hard-wired to help others. The more you help, the happier you’ll feel——as individuals and as a couple.

Tip 2: Stay connected through communication

Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. When you experience a positive emotional connection with your partner, you feel safe and happy. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and times of change or stress can really bring out the disconnect. It may sound simplistic, but as long as you are communicating, you can usually work through whatever problems you’re facing.

Tell your partner what you need, don’t make them guess.
It’s not always easy to talk about what you need. For one, many of us don’t spend enough time thinking about what’s really important to us in a relationship. And even if you do know what you need, talking about it can make you feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or even ashamed. But look at it from your partner’s point of view. Providing comfort and understanding to someone you love is a pleasure, not a burden.

If you’ve known each other for a while, you may assume that your partner has a pretty good idea of what you are thinking and what you need. However, your partner is not a mind-reader. While your partner may have some idea, it is much healthier to express your needs directly to avoid any confusion.

Your partner may sense something, but it might not be what you need. What’s more, people change, and what you needed and wanted five years ago, for example, may be very different now. So instead of letting resentment, misunderstanding, or anger grow when your partner continually gets it wrong, get in the habit of telling them exactly what you need.

Take note of your partner’s nonverbal cues

So much of our communication is transmitted by what we don’t say. Nonverbal cues, which include eye contact, tone of voice, posture, and gestures such as leaning forward, crossing your arms, or touching someone’s hand, communicate much more than words.

When you can pick up on your partner’s nonverbal cues or “body language,” you’ll be able to tell how they really feel and be able to respond accordingly. For a relationship to work well, each person has to understand their own and their partner’s nonverbal cues. Your partner’s responses may be different from yours. For example, one person might find a hug after a stressful day a loving mode of communication—while another might just want to take a walk together or sit and chat.

It’s also important to make sure that what you say matches your body language. If you say “I’m fine,” but you clench your teeth and look away, then your body is clearly signaling you are anything but “fine.”

When you experience positive emotional cues from your partner, you feel loved and happy, and when you send positive emotional cues, your partner feels the same. When you stop taking an interest in your own or your partner’s emotions, you’ll damage the connection between you and your ability to communicate will suffer, especially during stressful times.

Be a good listener

While a great deal of emphasis in our society is put on talking, if you can learn to listen in a way that makes another person feel valued and understood, you can build a deeper, stronger connection between you.

There’s a big difference between listening in this way and simply hearing. When you really listen—when you’re engaged with what’s being said—you’ll hear the subtle intonations in your partner’s voice that tells you how they’re really feeling and the emotions they’re trying to communicate. Being a good listener doesn’t mean you have to agree with your partner or change your mind. But it will help you find common points of view that can help you to resolve conflict.

Manage stress

When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you’re more likely to misread your romantic partner, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, or lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. How often have you been stressed and flown off the handle at your loved one and said or done something you later regretted?

If you can learn to quickly manage stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but you’ll also help to avoid conflict and misunderstandings——and even help to calm your partner when tempers build.

Tip 3: Keep physical intimacy alive

Touch is a fundamental part of human existence. Studies on infants have shown the importance of regular, affectionate contact for brain development. And the benefits don’t end in childhood. Affectionate contact boosts the body’s levels of oxytocin, a hormone that influences bonding and attachment.

While sex is often a cornerstone of a committed relationship, it shouldn’t be the only method of physical intimacy. Frequent, affectionate touch—holding hands, hugging, kissing—is equally important.