Know What is Possessiveness, A Restraining Trait in Relationships and How to Overcome It

Salvabrani.com – Possessiveness is a negative trait that is often displayed in a romantic relationship. Possessiveness towards a partner will usually only damage or exacerbate a romantic relationship. There are many reasons for a partner to become possessive, such as having trust issues, being jealous, or having low self-esteem.

Possessiveness denotes a manic state of mind in which a person cannot accept sharing the thing or person he is obsessed with. Here, the word ‘mania’ is used because it denotes the extremity of the condition. Possessive nature can be directed at anything, not just limited to humans. This trait is indicated as a weakness.

Possessiveness springs from insecurity and other feelings of doubt. Possession reflects wounded self-esteem and a sense of inferiority. This is a very dangerous emotion, especially in relationships. Because if not controlled, this nature will only bring damage in the end.

Here’s more about what possessiveness is and why this trait will only have a negative impact if it’s not stopped immediately. Complete accompanied by how to deal with what is possessive so you can avoid the danger.

Know What is Possessive

In the Big Indonesian Dictionary (KBBI), the meaning of what is possessive is to feel like an owner; have jealousy. Possessiveness is an attitude that is shown to control life or dominate something or someone and the feeling of wanting to have a partner excessively.

This attitude can range from passive actions such as feelings of displeasure and annoyance to aggressive actions such as attacking a partner. This could include strict ownership or some other type of relationship to a greater or lesser degree.

Possessive dating can occur when a person is in a position of always wanting to know about their partner and limits every space for their partner to move because of the fear of losing or having a feeling of ‘owning’ that is too high (Fitriani, 2013: 1), as cited in the publication by Udayana University.

According to Goldie (2002), unhealthy and excessive possessiveness involves not only a strong urge to protect loved ones but also a compulsive need to control one’s partner’s thoughts and feelings. In other words, the possessive partner wants to be the only source of happiness for the partner or the relationship and as a result gets angry if the partner has other interests as well.

People with possessive tendencies usually suffer from low self-esteem and therefore tend to be constantly on guard. This is the belief that severe possessiveness can be like a vicious cycle in which the partner will struggle to break free.

As a result, possessiveness makes it more difficult to develop feelings of mutual love. Nelson (1997), who agrees with Hauck and Goldie’s views, states that possessive partners stem from selfish individuals who only care about themselves.

Know What is Possessiveness, A Restraining Trait in Relationships and How to Overcome It

Negative Impact of Possessive Traits

Possessive shows a situation where a person cannot accept to share something with people around him. No one in this world is free from possession because everyone has something in their life but what becomes a problem is when a person starts getting addiction and craving for a thing or even obsession with someone.

Possessiveness can also reflect a person’s weakness. Possessiveness will only cause a lot of emotions such as fear, jealousy, anger and many more. Therefore, people who fall into what is possessive can never stay happy, they are even always and afraid and always feel that they will be abandoned by the people they love.

The negative side of a relationship that has a possessive attitude will have an impact on psychological health, which in turn will lead to violence in dating relationships (Albantani, 2018). This violence can be in the form of verbal violence which can make partners feel depressed as a result of pressure coming from their partners, feelings of disappointment, fear and anger that they cannot express (Luhulima, in Nurhaniyah, 2016: 3).

How to Overcome Possessiveness

You may not notice it right away if your partner is possessive. Even at first, most couples view the early act of possessiveness as sweet attention, and think that their partner is putting your best interests first.

However, these moments can turn toxic over time, so it’s best to stop quickly. Here are some ways to overcome possessiveness that you can try, launching from lifehack.org:

1. Forget the past.

2. Don’t overdo it.

The more you worry about your partner not loving you or being honest with you, the more you will push him away. You must have faith that you are loved by your partner because he or she has chosen to be in a relationship with you.

3. Live your own life.

If you have your own job, your own hobbies, and your own social life, you will be a more attractive person to your partner. Spending time together is certainly important, but it’s also nice to spend time apart and have things to share and talk about when you meet.

4. Avoid jealousy.

Jealousy can not only kill a relationship fast, but it will also make you feel bitter and hateful in everyday life. Turn that attitude into something positive by realizing that your partner has chosen you because you are such a great and quality person.

5. Get to know each other’s friends.

 

The best way not to be jealous is to be familiar with each other’s social environment. If you know who your partner is spending time with, then there will be no reason to worry.

Get to Know the Signs of a Trust Issue and How to Overcome It

Salvabrani.com – Trust issue is a term to describe the feeling of difficulty trusting other people. This can be influenced by several factors, such as trauma or bad experiences in the past, unfavorable relationships with loved ones, or obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

 

Basically, distrust of other people is normal as long as it doesn’t happen continuously. However, this should be watched out for when these conditions begin to affect quality of life and hinder daily activities.

 

Let’s look at the following article to understand more about what is meant by a trust issue and how to overcome it.

 

What are Trust Issues?

Trust issue is a person’s tendency not to trust the people around him. This condition can be shown in various forms of attitude and behavior. Not only always in terms of romance, trust issues can also be related to friendships, family, to the work environment.

 

People who have a trust issue mean that they don’t easily believe what other people say, and often even feel suspicious that other people approach them because they have a specific purpose. That is why most people with trust issues feel uncomfortable when interacting or relating to other people. They tend to stay away from other people, especially when they feel their relationship is getting closer.

 

Causes of Trust Issues

Trust issues can be influenced by various factors, such as being betrayed, bad experiences in the past, parenting styles, and so on. The following is an explanation of each.

 

1. EVER BETRAYED

Everyone has a different experience of betrayal, it could be cheated on, rejected, or lied to. In fact, this betrayal is often accompanied by manipulation to violence. Whatever it is, the experience is certainly so painful that it makes it difficult for someone to trust their new partner or relationship in the future.

 

2. BAD EXPERIENCES IN THE PAST

Some bad experiences in the past such as accidents, victims of theft, violence, and the loss of loved ones can also cause a person to have trust issues. This may occur as a result of worrying about experiencing the same pain.

 

3. PARENTING PATTERNS

Trust issues can also be influenced by parenting styles. Children who are raised in families with parental conflict tend to have a low level of trust in other people, and in some cases this condition can even continue into adulthood.

 

4. SOCIAL ENVIRONMENTAL INFLUENCES

A social environment that makes a person feel that they are always being rejected, ostracized, or even bullied has a high risk of making that person have a trust issue. People who experience this will always feel insecure so it is difficult to get close to and trust other people, even if people are from different environments.

5. SYMPTOMS OF MENTAL DISORDERS

Basically, trust issues are not a mental disorder. Even so, this condition can appear as a symptom of certain mental health problems. Some of the conditions that can cause a person to have a trust issue are:

Get to Know the Signs of a Trust Issue and How to Overcome It

Anxiety disorder.
Depression.
Psychotic disorder.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
OCD.

Trust Issue Signs

Apart from having difficulty placing trust in other people, the signs that are commonly experienced by owners of trust issues are:

 

Easily jealous to the point of fear of being abandoned.
Constantly feeling suspicious.
Always assume bad things about others.
Always keep your distance from other people.
It’s hard to forgive and forget other people’s mistakes.
Having excessive worry when in a relationship.

The behaviors above ultimately make people with trust issues become more introverted individuals and tend to isolate themselves, making them feel lonely. In the long term, this will certainly affect the quality of life.

 

How to Overcome Trust Issues

Trust is one of the important keys in a relationship, be it with family, friends, or partner. To prevent the bad effects of a trust issue in the long term, here are some ways to overcome them.

 

1. INCREASING TRUST IN YOURSELF

Before building trust in other people, basically you have to learn to believe in yourself first. Low self-confidence can often be the beginning of a person’s feelings of despair in the process, which can then develop and lead to a condition of trust issues.

 

2. BUILDING TRUST IN OTHERS

One of the most effective ways to deal with trust issues is to slowly build trust in other people, such as friends, family, and partners.

 

It is true that this is not easy to do, especially in such a short time. But you can learn to trust other people by starting to forgive their mistakes and accept the good things they give. That way, trust will grow by itself slowly.

 

3. ESTABLISH GOOD COMMUNICATION

Lack of communication can also trigger trust issues. Therefore, try to discuss the concerns that you have felt so far, including what made you have a trust issue. That way, other people will understand, so that the relationship that exists will also be healthier.

 

4. CONSULT WITH A PSYCHOLOGIST OR PSYCHIATER

If you have difficulty eliminating the trust issue, then consulting directly with a psychologist or psychiatrist is the best way to do it.

This is the meaning of commitment in a relationship and tips for maintaining it

Salvabrani.com, Jakarta – Commitment is a form of bond and a necessity so that partners can freely communicate their ideas, feelings and desires. Because, a love relationship is built from two people with different characters and personalities.

Therefore, it is very important to maintain a commitment so that you and your partner can achieve a healthy relationship. So, what does commitment actually mean in a relationship?

The meaning of commitment itself is very broad. For example, the meaning of commitment is a form of belief to stay together in a relationship. However, it is not easy to build a fair commitment in a relationship. The reason is, when it comes to commitment, both you and your partner may not be ready and doubtful.

Tips for Maintaining Commitment with a Partner

Before knowing how to keep commitments, you should know the purpose of building commitments with your partner. Find out more through this article 4 Commitments You Can Work With Your Partner.

Maintaining commitment is having the confidence to dare to dream, plan, and hope to share many things with your partner. This belief does not mean that it will eliminate your freedom or desire personally.

Precisely with commitment, both you and your partner are trying to unite freedom and desire to reach a mutual agreement. Here are some tips on maintaining commitment in relationships that you can try to apply in relationships:

1. DO POSITIVE ACTIVITIES

You can achieve great commitment in a relationship by sharing positive experiences with your partner. Do positive activities together like sports, shopping, playing games, or even working together.

You can also re-do special unforgettable activities with your partner, such as having dinner at the same restaurant as the first meeting at that time. This can increase intimacy and affection for each other.

2. THE COMMITMENT IS ALSO ABOUT EXPRESSING LOVE

Another tip for keeping commitments is to express love. Tell your partner that you care about them, both with words and actions. Sure, actions will always have more impact than nice words, but that doesn’t mean that verbal caring isn’t important.

Because, words and actions will always go hand in hand. For example, take your partner to the movies, buy flowers or chocolates and tell them that you love them. Let you and your partner know each other care and love.

Apart from giving gifts, there are still many ways to express your love for your partner that you can do. Read the article Not Only Gifts, This Is How to Show Love to Your Partner to find out how.

This is the meaning of commitment in a relationship and tips for maintaining it

3. RESPECT COUPLE

Commitment is something that is impossible to form if someone feels that other people do not want or respect him. So, it is important for both partners to feel mutual respect in a relationship.

Give compliments to your partner sincerely and wholeheartedly. By appreciating your partner, you will show trust and affection. This will also increase the partner’s desire to maintain commitment.

4. MAINTAIN COMMUNICATION IN COMMITMENT

The most important aspect of a relationship is communication. Start with simple things like greeting each other every day. This is a simple technique that is quite effective for increasing responsibility in relationships.

You can greet each other when you wake up, or when you meet your partner after work. In addition, it is also important to always communicate openly and honestly. Because, when you and your partner maintain healthy communication, trust in the relationship will be built.

5. AVOID BLAME EACH OTHER

Another tip for keeping commitments is not blaming each other, even if you are really angry with your partner. If necessary, you can give space to your partner to calm each other down.

Wait until you and your partner feel open to listening to each other. Then, you can start communicating with a cool head and look for solutions while preventing similar problems from arising.

Relationships that have responsibility will certainly have clearer goals. So, what is an attached relationship like? You can read it from the Must Know article, These are the Stages of a Committed Relationship.

Indeed, keeping the meaning of commitment is not easy. However, if you and your partner agree to do it together, it certainly won’t be difficult. Apart from that, you also need to know what needs to be done so that you and your partner will last forever.

5 Reasons Why It’s Important to Have Equal Feedback in Relationships

Salvabrani.com – In fact, two people who are in a love relationship should realize that effort or sacrifice is not only made by one person. But there must be good and compact cooperation between two people, so that the relationship continues to work in balance.

It’s not a calculation or not sincere in fighting for a relationship to stay harmonious, but there are many benefits that can actually be obtained from having this commensurate feedback. Therefore, commensurate feedback in relationships is just as important. Why is that? Here are five reasons.

1. So that no party feels less appreciated

For example, all this time you have been in a relationship, but you are the only one who looks or appears to be struggling to make a harmonious relationship. It must have crossed your mind if your partner really doesn’t really care about your efforts and sacrifices.

As a result, you feel that all this time your partner has not appreciated your existence. The only proof is that he hasn’t given adequate feedback or at least he can show that your efforts should be appreciated.

2. There is feedback that is commensurate with evidence that you and your partner play an active role in the relationship

All this time you have tried to be loyal to a relationship, he has also shown his loyalty to you. Well, that is a form of feedback that is commensurate and must exist in a love relationship.

That is, you and your partner both play an active and compact role to maintain the integrity of the relationship. It is this active role that can help your relationship always be harmonious and also have progress, because you and your partner have good cooperation in maintaining a relationship.

5 Reasons Why It's Important to Have Equal Feedback in Relationships

3. Avoiding conflict due to the fact that one party feels that they are always fighting alone

The importance of commensurate feedback in relationships is also to avoid conflicts or misunderstandings. Even though you love your partner very much, but if there is no initiative to show it, then your partner will not be able to feel and know about your heart and your seriousness.

As a result, the partner will feel that he has been fighting alone all this time. Because there is not much effort and proof if you really love your partner. So the possibility for problems and conflicts to arise will be very large because your partner will definitely continue to question your contribution to the relationship so far.

4. You both don’t give up if you feel the relationship is being tested with many problems

When you are both trying to solve a problem, without letting it linger, that is an example if you and your partner don’t want to just give up on what happened.

That’s a sign that you and your partner are trying to provide commensurate feedback. For example, when you two are fighting, you try to give in and calm things down. When the relationship is overwritten by problems or fights again, even the partner will be willing to give in and want to lower his ego so that the fight doesn’t get worse.

5. Make a lasting relationship because both try to give their best

Behind a lasting relationship, of course there are two people who try to give the best according to their abilities. Therefore, a commensurate feedback is very important in relationships.

Because it indicates that there are two people who both want to fight for the relationship and show their maximum effort. So that the relationship can continue to survive because there are two people who consistently provide good things in it.

Have you and your partner both given their best and as much as possible for the relationship? Because having feedback is also one of the reasons why relationships can last a long time and be harmonious.

What Does the Word Break Mean in a Relationship? Beware of Misunderstanding!

https://salvabrani.com/ – ‘Break’ is an English word which, if you look for it in the Translation Dictionary, means that in Indonesian it means to destroy.

Not only that, there are several other meanings of break in Indonesian, namely break, break, crack, break, and several other meanings. However, what is the intended meaning of a break in a love relationship?

The meaning of the word ‘break’
Even though the meaning is destructive, this meaning does not apply to a break in a love relationship.

Break in a love relationship refers more to the meaning of ‘rest’. This means taking a moment or some time to rest yourself and your partner from the relationship.

Break in Amara’s Relationship

Usually breaks are used to both provide space for partners over a longer period of time, for example several days, weeks, or even months, with the aim of self-evaluation and refreshing from a relationship that may not be conducive.

What Does the Word Break Mean in a Relationship? Beware of Misunderstanding!

This decision was taken when both parties still wanted to be together and had hopes of staying in touch, but there needed to be some distance to feel that they needed each other again and to improve themselves.

It’s no wonder that this one decision is usually taken by couples who have been in a relationship for a long time.

Break vs Break Up
WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE FROM BREAKING?

Obviously, the difference is that a break doesn’t allow your partner to open up to other people or connect with other people romantically.

Both parties are still in the status of having a partner but the relationship is in break status or taking a short break.

After both decide to break for a certain time, then each partner can decide to continue the relationship or even end it.

In essence, the meaning of a break is usually done to temporarily get out of a problem, although it is not completely able to overcome the existing problem.

So, break doesn’t mean break up! You are still in a relationship with your lover.

What follows includes the relationship between social change and cultural change?

Salvabrani.com – What follows includes the relationship between social change and cultural change?

Check out the IPS answer key for class 9 page 149 competency test chapter 2, forms of socio-cultural change and globalization of multiple choice questions.

The following discussion is a guide or answer guide for parents of students and students, who are also expected to explore further related learning materials.

What is the discussion of IPS answer keys for grade 9 junior high school like? Check out the review by UIN Yogyakarta alumni, Muhammad Iqbal, S.Pd.

Socio-cultural changes that occur are driven by several things, for example, such as increasing and decreasing population, new discoveries, conflicts, rebellions, the natural environment, wars and the influence of other communities.

The forms of socio-cultural change are very diverse.
Fast social change, slow social change, planned change, unplanned change, small change and big change.

What follows includes the relationship between social change and cultural change?

The perceived influence is positive and some is negative.

The positive influences that we can feel from modernization include developments in science and technology, increased effectiveness and efficiency in various fields of life, as well as open information and communication.

Meanwhile, the negative influence of globalization for socio-cultural changes in society is quite large.

These influences include westernization, demoralization, socio-economic inequality, crime, juvenile delinquency, environmental pollution, and high individualism.

Question

The following includes the relationship between social change and cultural change:

A. cultural change is followed by social change

B. social change followed by cultural change

C. Social change is not always followed by cultural change

D. cultural change equals social change

Answer: C. Social change is not always followed by cultural change

Thus the key to the answer to the IPS answer content: What follows includes the relationship between social change and cultural change? IPS Class 9 Page 149 competency test chapter 2, socio-cultural changes and globalization of multiple choice questions, I hope this is useful.

What kind of relationship can be called a toxic relationship?

Salvabrani.com , Jakarta – Every relationship has its ups and downs and fights. In a healthy relationship, fights must find a way out and be resolved in a good way. A healthy relationship is also characterized by partners discussing issues openly, enjoying each other’s company, and supporting each other’s decisions.

When the fight doesn’t find a bright spot and you don’t feel happiness with your partner, be careful that you might have fallen into a toxic relationship, aka toxic relationship. Toxic relationships that are continuously maintained can actually hurt you and your partner. Be careful, this condition can be bad for your mental health.

Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Launching from Healthline, signs of a toxic relationship can be subtle or very clear. If your partner shows the following signs, it means your relationship has entered the toxic relationship category:

1. Lack of support

The foundation of a healthy relationship is a shared desire to see the partner succeed in all areas of life. If your partner actually sees every achievement as a competition, it means that the situation has turned toxic. When everything becomes a competition, you must feel unsupported by your partner when you want to achieve certain things.

2. Communication is not good

Signs of a toxic relationship are also marked by conversations that only contain sarcasm, criticism, and debate. Over time, communication like this will only lead to fights. In the end, you may want to avoid talking to each other because you are tired of arguing.

3. Excessive jealousy

Jealous with your partner occasionally may be natural. However, if this feeling of jealousy continues for no apparent reason, even to the point of disrupting your life and relationships with close friends or relatives, it means you have entered into a toxic relationship.

4. Controlling behavior

Does your partner often ask your location or how you are all the time? This may be normal for your partner to do to make sure your condition is okay. However, if your partner gets really annoyed when you don’t answer messages or calls right away, be careful, this is one of the early signs of a toxic relationship.

What kind of relationship can be called a toxic relationship?

5. Dishonesty

If you frequently make up lies about your whereabouts to avoid your partner, you may be in a very uncomfortable phase in your relationship. This attitude is usually triggered by the behavior of a partner who likes to control so you don’t have your own space.

6. Always restless

Tension in a relationship that continues to occur can make you nervous at any time. This condition can be an indicator that something is wrong. If persisted, this ongoing anxiety can take a toll on your mental and physical health.

7. Ignore the need

If you always follow whatever your partner wants to do, even though you know it is against your wishes and even ignore your needs, this is a sign of a relationship that has entered a toxic relationship.

8. Keep away from relatives

Another very clear sign of a toxic relationship is the possessiveness of your partner. This possessive attitude can keep you away from friends and family just to avoid conflict with your partner.

9. Lack of self-care

Toxic relationships can also make you neglect self-care that you usually do. You may not have time to do hobbies, neglect your health, and sacrifice your free time just for your partner. If left unchecked, this can stress you out and make you vulnerable to physical and mental problems.

10. Expect partners to change

Not a few people still survive in toxic relationships, because they believe that changing yourself and your actions can also change your partner for the better. In the end, this method will only torture or hurt yourself.

Harmonious Relationships and How to Maintain Them

Finding a life partner is often a long process. Not only is it a match, but often small disputes will backfire for you and your partner. Just like the household, what is difficult is maintaining a relationship so that it remains harmonious and far from being rich and uncomfortable. Actually, how difficult is it to maintain a harmonious relationship in a relationship or household?

Meaning of harmonious relationship

Actually a harmonious relationship is how you maintain your relationship with your partner. Keep giving positive vibes, support each other and have each other. Sometimes, feeling too close or a long relationship makes you underestimate his presence. These things will actually destroy your harmony.

How to maintain a harmonious relationship?

Maintaining what you have earned is also your biggest homework in a relationship or household. There are many ways you can do to defend it, you know, Bela.

1. Understand the business

Understanding and feeling empathy is also one of the keys. Listen to him when he tells the story with full attention and affection. Being a good listener is what he needs, moreover you can actively respond to your partner when they are having trouble with you.

2. Always be respectful

Even if he is your partner, show respect and respect for him. Show him your attitude, he will feel you are a partner who understands and believes in him.

3. Be sincere

Be you as you are, come with sincere intentions without coercing anyone. Give your best attitude for him, this is what will obviously add to your emotional bond with him.

4. Always communicate well

Even though you and he have different environments, sharing or deep talk can also maintain and even add to harmony. Good communication will reflect how you and he feel heard and understood.

5. Supportive

Supporting and helping what he is doing now will make him always eager to progress in the future. There’s nothing wrong with asking every thing your partner is doing.

Things that can damage the harmony of relationships
Some say it is easier to get than to maintain, as that is the meaning of harmony. Maybe in your initial relationship you and your partner were warm or intimacy was always present, but in the past few years everything has diminished. There are even little things that actually reduce the harmony of your relationship.

Harmonious Relationships and How to Maintain Them

1. Don’t care

Caring is not just about helping or doing something. Realize it or not, you sometimes don’t care at the moments your partner needs. For example, your partner comes home from work, you can make him a cup of coffee to spend the night.

2. Monotone

Well, tiring routines sometimes make you and your partner feel bored. If you also continue to be monotonous with him, the saturation in the brain will increase. To reduce it, you can do different things every week, such as cooking together, movie dates, staycations, and even going on vacation together.

3. Demand

A woman certainly wants to always feel cared for, treated special by her partner, but to what extent do you interpret that? Sometimes being treated constantly special makes you forget that it’s beyond reasonable limits and demands more of it to be what you want.

4. Dominant

In a relationship there will be one of you who is more dominant, more often than not a girl. Don’t let your dominant nature make the harmony of your relationship slowly erode, Bela. Complementing each other would be better than being dominant.

Also Read More : Salvabrani.com

MUTUALISTIC RELATIONSHIPS

Salvabrani.comA mutualistic relationship is when two organisms of different species “work together,” each benefiting from the relationship. One example of a mutualistic relationship is that of the oxpecker (a kind of bird) and the rhinoceros or zebra. Oxpeckers land on rhinos or zebras and eat ticks and other parasites that live on their skin. The oxpeckers get food and the beasts get pest control. Also, when there is danger, the oxpeckers fly upward and scream a warning, which helps the symbiont (a name for the other partner in a relationship).

Organisms in a mutualistic relationship evolved together. Each was part of the other’s environment, so as they adapted to their environment, they “made use of” each other in a way that benefited both.

Here are three other examples of mutualistic relationships:

1. The bee and the flower. Bees fly from flower to flower gathering nectar, which they make into food, benefiting the bees. When they land in a flower, the bees get some pollen on their hairy bodies, and when they land in the next flower, some of the pollen from the first one rubs off, pollinating* the plant. This benefits the plants. In this mutualistic relationship, the bees get to eat, and the flowering plants get to reproduce.

2. The spider crab and the algae. Spider crabs live in shallow areas of the ocean floor, and greenish-brown algae lives on the crabs’ backs, making the crabs blend in with their environment, and unnoticeable to predators. The algae gets a good place to live, and the crab gets camouflage.**

MUTUALISTIC RELATIONSHIPS

3. The bacteria and the human. A certain kind of bacteria lives in the intestines of humans and many other animals. The human cannot digest all of the food that it eats. The bacteria eat the food that the human cannot digest and partially digest it, allowing the human to finish the job. The bacteria benefit by getting food, and the human benefits by being able to digest the food it eats.

*Pollination is when the pollen from one flower gets into another flower, allowing the plants to reproduce.

** When one of the symbionts lives on or in the other, the one that is lived on or in is sometimes called the host. However, this term is usually used to describe parasitic relationships, rather than mutualistic ones.

 

5 Red flags in relationships: Couples therapists share common examples and what they mean

  • Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying.
  • You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down.
  • Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn’t be one-sided.

Salvabrani.comWe’re always told to steer clear of people who exhibit red flags in relationships, but exactly what common signs should we be looking out for?

Whether you’re dating a new guy or girl, a long term boyfriend or girlfriend, or even in a marriage, you may not be aware of the warning signs. Red flags like constant put-downs can signal a kind of emotional abuse, which is relatively common.

It can help to know which red flags to look out for so that you can proceed with caution or cut things off if necessary.

What are red flags in a relationship?

Relationship red flags are warning signs that there may be unhealthy patterns or behaviors between you and your partner.

Oftentimes, especially in new relationships, lust and love can cloud your judgment, making it difficult to pick up on red flags.

More well-known red flags may be abusive behavior and aggression. However, some red flags in relationships are easy to miss. Toxic behaviors like manipulation, gaslighting, and narcissism, can slip under the radar.

We spoke with couples therapists to learn more about relationship red flags, why they’re easy to miss, and what to do if you notice them.

1. Frequent lying

Constantly catching your partner being dishonest isn’t a good sign.

“We are all guilty of telling white lies; however, if you notice that your partner is consistently deceiving or getting caught in lies, it is a red flag,” says Samara Quintero, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Choosing Therapy.

These can be small lies, like being dishonest about where they’re going — or big lies, like not telling you how much debt they have.

Being lied to over and over again can make it difficult to build a solid foundation in the relationship or destroy one that you’ve already built, which can lead to a shaky future, Quintero says.

2. Constant put-downs

A partner frequently criticizing you or putting you down, even if it’s in a subtle or passive-aggressive way, can affect your self-esteem.

“This is a form of emotional abuse that can lead to feelings of anxiety and insecurity in the partnership,” Quintero says.

She says some common examples might sound like:

  1. “You’re lucky I’m still with you because you’ll never do better than me.”
  2. “You sound so ridiculous when you try to be funny.”

A 2013 study suggested that emotional abuse could be just as harmful as physical abuse, both contributing to depression and low self-esteem — so this red flag should certainly be taken seriously.

“Addressing this behavior with your partner is imperative, and if they refuse to take responsibility or express a willingness to change, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship,” Quintero says.

5 Red flags in relationships: Couples therapists share common examples and what they mean

3. An unwillingness to compromise

If your partner isn’t willing to compromise even when it comes to the little things, you should proceed with caution.

“If you’re in a relationship with someone who seems to make everything one-sided, you may end up over-compromising and wind up feeling resentful, hurt, misunderstood, and unsatisfied,” says Emily Simonian, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the head of learning at Thriveworks.

In healthy relationships, it’s crucial that you consider each other’s needs and desires and that compromise isn’t a one-way street.

4. A tendency to run away from difficult discussions

A partner who lacks the emotional or behavioral skills needed to cope with problems and runs away from them instead can harm your relationship.

Some examples are walking away from arguments without hearing you out, or ignoring you for days at a time when things get rough.

People who have trouble tolerating difficult emotions tend to lash out or flee when the going gets tough, Simonian says. Even healthy relationships will go through rough patches, so you want to be sure that your partner will communicate effectively with you instead of running away when things get hard.

5. Controlling behavior and excessive jealousy

If your partner is very jealous, this may lead to controlling behavior.

For example, they might feel jealous when you have a social life outside of your relationship, Simonian says. A jealous partner may also suffocate you with excessive calls or texts and try to control what you do.

“Attempts to control usually start off subtly but eventually increase in intensity and can often leave you feeling as though nothing you do is ‘good enough,'” Simonian says. “If you notice yourself feeling smothered or consistently altering your behavior in order to appease their jealousy, it could be a sign of bigger issues to come.”

A 2010 meta-analysis found that as jealousy in a relationship increased, the relationship quality decreased, indicating that jealousy harms romantic relationships. Additionally, a 2014 study suggested that people in relationships where a partner acted too possessive in the early stages were more likely to have an unhealthy communication style later in the relationship.